Moving in with your partner is undoubtedly one of the significant milestones of a long-term relationship. It implies that you see a promising future with the person concerned and are ready to invest more into the relationship. It also entails taking more responsibilities together to make things work and lay the foundation of a stronger companionship.
After all, true love is not just about dinner dates, cozy movie theatres, fancy gifts, and so on. It also involves dealing with each other’s quirks daily and still being drawn to him/her. The bottom line is, it is not a decision that should be made impulsively. If you are considering living with your partner, the following are some of the crucial questions you should ask yourself first:
Is It Too Soon?
There is no exact timeline to determine precisely when a couple should move in together. It depends on many factors that go beyond the actual number of years (or months, for that matter) that you have been dating. Have you had honest conversations about your future goals? Have you dealt with a big fight? Have you faced a challenging situation together? These are some of the things you can keep in mind.
Though some psychologists believe that it is advisable to wait for at least six months to two years before moving in or getting married; it is also often argued that there are other yardsticks such as the quality of your communication, how you envision your future, and if that is aligned to your partner’s future goals, whether you both want to start (or not start) a family, and so on. Fights and disagreements are unavoidable; the key is to be able to manage each other’s expectations.
Are You Doing This for the Right Reasons?
Ensure your reason for moving in with your partner has got nothing to do with feeling pressurized or wanting to save on rent! If that’s the case, you need to rethink your decision. Rushing things and living with your partner for the wrong reasons can prove to wreck havoc on your relationship.
As yourself, if you make a robust problem-solving team, and if you bring any diverse skills or assessment abilities to the table. You should be genuinely excited to take this step and be confident of your compatibility. It’s easy to give in to external pressures when you see other couples moving in together or looking at it as a financially viable decision. But ultimately, what matters is if you see a future with them, and the channels of communication regarding your needs and expectations and completely open from both ends.
Do You Respect Each Other’s Personal Space?
Living by yourself gives you the liberty of having friends over or just enjoying some solitary time, whenever you want. However, when you start living with your partner, you have to factor them in these choices/plans. So before living with your partner, you should know your partner’s needs for space and solitude. Have an honest discussion and try to find out if your partner is comfortable with having guests and get-togethers at home. For example, what is their take on family members dropping by unannounced? Do they need alone-time once in a while? Once you have these ideas clear in your head, you can work out how to respect each other’s needs.
What Is Your Take On Finance Management?
When it comes to money, things often get awkward. It is highly recommended to have an idea of your partner’s income and spending habits. After moving in, the last thing you would expect would be to bear the rent all by yourself since your partner blew his entire paycheck on impulse buying. It is also essential to maintain absolute transparency about your finances and agree on the financial responsibilities of living together. Also, keep in mind that besides rent and utilities, you will also have to share other expenses such as groceries and household cleaning products, amongst others. Discuss these concerns beforehand to avoid problems later on when taking the onus and paying for these things.
Are You Compatible In Terms of Cleanliness?
Well, do we need to spell it out to you that if your partner is a slob and you are a neat freak, tension will brew in no time? Don’t get us wrong; you can still cohabit happily, as long as you keep the mantra of compromise and communication alive! To put it simply, don’t expect your partner to change if you fail to convey that their habits bug you.
As long as you were dating, it must have been easy to put up with each other’s peculiarities and habits; however, when you start living in close proximity, these little differences can turn out to be glaring problems. For some people, living with clutter around is not much of a big deal, but it might lead to irritation for others. Have an open discussion before leaping- it will ensure a smoother adjustment period or give you the indication of waiting. No matter how trivial it might apparently sound, hygiene and neatness are significant concerns when it comes to coexisting peacefully. It is a great idea to set some basic guidelines before leaping.
Before embarking on this new chapter, it helps a lot to know as much about your partner’s subtler aspects as you can. This will help you prepare and plan better for a shared life ahead, and you can find out what you need to do, individually, as well as a couple, to build a harmonious next with each other.