You are born once, and you will live once. Life would be rocky, yet you must strive to be happy. End of the day, the only thing that matters is if you lived a reasonably happy life. Let’s talk about this uncomfortable topic today, toxic relationships and how they can affect your mental health.
What Is the Basic Criteria To Be Happy?
The most important criterion for being intrinsically happy is to reside in a friendly environment. Be it home, workplace, or anywhere you spend a chunk of your time. People institute the quality of the environment. Your well-being, therefore, is mostly dependent on how the people in your environment think and act. The most important of them, as we all know, is the one you are in a relationship with. Undoubtedly, that person has a vital role to play in shaping your mental state. This is the one you turn to when beaten by life’s challenges, to be held tight, to keep you from falling.
Did You Consider Evaluating Your Relationship?
Relationships are meant to enrich us as human beings. Relationships should be such that a person is happy to continue being in them. If despite being in a relationship, you have still been dissatisfied with yourself and your life for a while, it is time you find some “me” time for introspection. At the same time, step back and look at your relationship from a distance. You have the right to evaluate it objectively in this scenario. There is a possibility that you feel stressed because your relationship has become toxic. Everything else being in place, a toxic relationship alone can completely break you.
Note a few of the glaring signs:
Manipulation: More often than not, you have to align yourself with your partner’s wishes. Do as told or instructed. Such manipulation could be due to direct or indirect threats, a fear instilled in you of being dumped, left alone, or losing something precious if you differ. Alternatively, you are awarded if you say yes. There is not much opportunity to say ‘no.’
Favor: You are made to feel obliged for being loved and cared for despite having flaws. You are not attractive, you have not done much in life, you have had failed relationships, you do not have remarkable talents, yet you have been chosen as a partner—big favor. Be grateful.
Inconsistency: One moment you are on the pedestal, the next moment, you are bombarded with accusations and criticisms. Something that you do today gets you praise; tomorrow, the same action may yield disgust. Such inconsistency leaves you confused and careful. You can’t loosen up and continuously worry about upsetting your partner.
Dragged on: Errors are inevitable. Nevertheless, your mistakes, however small and unintentional, are blown out of proportion. You may cite your logic; you may apologize. Yet, one mistake, and your day is ruined. A date is called off. A trip canceled. Calls disconnected, so on and so forth. It is dragged on and on.
Blame game: It is always someone else’s fault. Either you or someone else or something else is always responsible for whatever untoward happens. In past relationships, it was always the other one who committed a crime. Blame others, and the conscience is steered clear. If your partner ill-treats you or acts bad or blows the top, it is always you who instigates.
Demeaning words: Use demeaning words against you when angry, or in the garb of a joke, intentionally. Both ways, it is disrespectful. If you protest, you are asked not to overreact or learn to take a joke.
Unworthy: In a toxic relationship, the partner would never see merit in what you achieve. Your success could be seen as a stroke of luck. Your popularity could be projected as unreal, baseless, or superficial. If others love you, it could be interpreted as fake. In any case, you are given a feeling of being unworthy all the time.
Why Do Relationships Become Toxic?
The beginning of all relationships is always like a fantasy. The partners are at their best; ready to woe each other and be together in difficult times. With time, dynamics tend to change. The innate nature becomes prominent—hidden frustrations surface. Most commonly, people are haunted by experiences from past relationships. Doubts, distrust, manipulation, coercion, dominance, and the like slowly erode away the attraction and affection. It could be one making it toxic or both. Everyone needs to accommodate, adjust, adapt, and sacrifice to an extent to make a relationship work. However, at times things go beyond control. Nothing seems to work, and there are constant conflicts and stress. You stop feeling good about yourself. You know something is wrong, and you slowly slide into depression. That in turn, makes your relationship more toxic because you don’t feel like continuing it anymore. And, an unhappy person cannot make anyone else happy.
What Can You Do To Come Out Of It?
Mental health is of supreme importance. If you are feeling low, it has to be addressed. Take professional help if need be. Toxic relationships eventually eat you up. Be aware. Be cautious. If nothing else can be done, make an effort to distance your soul from it. Love yourself and try and find happiness from elsewhere. Remember, you can never love anyone losing yourself.
Want to share your personal story about toxic relationships? Write to us!